Why you should avoid jail if possible:

1. It is one very nasty, germ infested place

2. It’s very humbling and embarrassing. They treat you like a criminal!

3. The food is terrible

4. They take your phone away

5. It costs a bunch of money to get back out

6. Even if you’re innocent, it can take a long time to be released.

Bet you’re wondering how I know this

Did you know I used to work in a jail doing mental health intake assessments? After hearing countless stories on how people found themselves in my office, in a jail, I’ve compiled a list of the most common reasons people found themselves in this predicament. I am passing this on to you to help you stay out of a cop car and subsequently out of a jail cell. Unless you did something really bad, then I can’t help you, you need a lawyer.

I know, I know, you don’t plan on going to jail this year, or in this lifetime, says EVERYONE, yet, it happens!

The truth is most of us will have some sort of interaction with law enforcement in our lifetime, whether it’s a routine traffic stop, investigation of a crime , or calling them ourselves for help and protection.

Sometimes these interactions can go sideways leading to being arrested. Often this can be avoided.

Here are my top tips to keep you from being arrested.

1. STAY COOL. Arrests usually start with an encounter with a law enforcement agent. During this encounter it is important to stay in control of yourself. This is NOT the time to get upset, emotional, angry, loud, cocky, or rude. Despite how you are feeling on the inside, this is when you need to at least appear CALM.

   Emotional outbursts make everyone nervous because they make you appear unpredictable.

   Have you ever tried reasoning with a toddler in the throes of a tantrum? This is how an officer feels trying to deal with your emotions. People who are calm and logical are much more predictable and easier to work with.

   You stand a much better chance of being able to explain yourself and walk away with your freedom if you just KEEP CALM.

2. PLAY DUMB (but not too dumb). In my personal experience, officers usually start with questions like, do you know how fast you were going? Do you know why I stopped you? Do you know why I’m here?

Now I don’t want you to lie to a police officer, but don’t just admit you have a reckless disregard for the law. At that point, you can honestly say you don’t know, because even if you have a good idea, you don’t know exactly what’s going on until they tell you.

Don’t be too dumb because that can easily cross over into being rude or annoying, and will NOT help.

3. LESS IS MORE. When answering questions just be polite and direct. Answer the question without any added information.

This is not the time to tell your life story, rat out everyone you know, or give information they didn’t already have, to use against you later.

Don’t throw in what officers refer to as “unnecessary feedback”.

Stick to the point and don’t give information that wasn’t asked for. I’ve seen plenty of people who would have avoided jail if they’d just stopped talking too much.

4, DON’T DO IT: The most interesting, off the wall stories of how or why someone got arrested almost always started with “there was this girl”.

I don’t know why girls like to get guys to do dumb stuff to impress them, and I don’t know why guys accept the ridiculous challenges.

All I can say is: guys, just don’t. Disengage from the pretty blue eyes batting at you and get a hold of yourself.

It’s not worth going to jail.

5. Along these same lines: DON”T DO DUMB SHIT . I picked up a saying working at the jail. Whenever someone would lament about why oh why were they in this terrible situation (being in jail), someone would inevitably say “because you did dumb shit”.

People, there is a cause and effect at work here. “dumb shit happens because you do dumb shit”. So don’t blame other people or situations. If you have found yourself in this unfortunate situation more than once, I think it’s time to reevaluate your life choices and stop doing “dumb shit”.

There are mental disorders (like ADHD) that can cause poor impulse control. If you feel like you can’t stop yourself from doing “dumb shit”, please see a therapist, there is help.

6. DON’T RUN OR HIDE.: Innocent people do not run or hide from the police.

It’s just a dead giveaway that you’re guilty of something.

Even if you’re innocent and just panic, you now made people chase you or find you, which creates a dangerous situation for law enforcement.

This raises adrenaline and emotions, which will NOT help you stay out of jail. Remember Tip #1. STAY CALM

7. WALK AWAY: There are 3 scenarios where this one applies.

• Scenario 1: You are with a crowd of people and things get out of hand. You know the police have been called or hear them coming.

  This is not the time to stick by your idiot friends.

  Simply walk away before the police arrive, unless you witnessed a serious crime or committed the crime yourself. Most often, the police will just round up everyone involved and sort it out later.

  Don’t be a victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

• Scenario 2: The police have talked to you and let you walk away. WALK AWAY.

  I recently watched this guy at the airport who kept following the police around yelling about his rights being violated…AFTER they had let him go! Do you think he ended up getting arrested?

  Don’t be THAT guy/girl!.

• Scenario 3: You find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to start something with you. Maybe you even started it by being loud and crazy.

  There is a point right before a crime is committed where you have a choice. You can let things keep escalating OR you can walk away.

  Even if the police still show up, it will look better for you that you tried to walk away.

8. DO WHAT YOU’RE TOLD: Even if you don’t agree with the request, unless its blatantly unethical, just do it. Sometimes police will ask you to do things for their own safety, your safety, or for the protection of others. You may not see the whole scenario they see. This isn’t the time to start ranting about your rights, police view safety as the top priority so they will do whatever they can to achieve this, even if it seems unjust or unfair to you at the time. There are numerous examples of people being arrested in order to secure a scene and de-escalate a situation. Don’t be part of the problem by being difficult. It will lead to your arrest.

If you follow these tips you stand a very good chance of sleeping in your own bed and not on a cement bench.

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IIf you think you need help with impulse control, managing your emotions, or stress contact Carrie Raap at R+ Therapy in Tucson, AZ. Carrie is an online therapist with more than 20 years experience. Her therapeutic specialties include relationships, depression, anger management, and anxiety. She has numerous credentials, including a Master's Degree in Social Work (MSW) and a license in clinical social work (LCSW). She has several virtual options to improve your mental health including online courses, individual therapy, free resources, and a new mental wellness membership.